It happened today in the late afternoon in South Alabama. My grandmother passed away. Intellectually, I can face it. Emotionally, I don’t think I’ll totally believe it until I’m at the funeral. I find it so hard to imagine never speaking to her again. It was hard watching even from my distance, the slow loss of someone I cared so much for, but I hope wherever she is now, she’s no longer in pain and she’s back with loved ones, long and recent gone. I never wanted to let go, but there was no choice involved. The tears and emotions haven’t come as they did Saturday night. Every so often, I feel the tears welling or think of something that leaves me momentarily choked up. Mostly, as today at work, it’s when I try to verbalize what happened. I noticed that even today I was unable to tell people that Granny was dying. I had to say, that she was “ill” and that “it could be any time now” – carefully never saying what “it” was exactly.
In a couple of days, we’ll all be attending the funeral in Dothan, and going to the graveside services in a rural Methodist Church yard in Rose Hill, AL. I’ll be watching Granny be placed into the Earth beside a grandfather who knew none of his grandchildren.
Granny, wherever you are, I love you.